The Coaches Corner: To Play or Not to Play? That Is the Question!

Written by Joe Meade

For many, American culture has structured our lives into seasonal changes.  Jumping from Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall has become as systematic as putting socks on before your shoes.  In some households the year goes by one holiday at a time.  Retailers rely on us to celebrate each celebration by purchasing the newest version of the latest craze only to replace them the following year.

For sports enthusiasts and participants, seasons blend and give us something to look forward to all year round.  We move from indoor sports in the winter to outdoor in the Spring, Summer and Fall. Our children adapt to this seasonal culture quickly and schedule their lives around them.  In many cases, parents get caught in the conundrum of deciding what sports to allow our kids to participate and how to balance school with afterschool activities.  As teen athletes approach their high school years, playing multiple sports can be an important decision that impacts them dramatically.

In my many years of experience in high school and college athletics, I have developed a philosophy that I would like to share with our readers. First rule of thumb is academics first. If you have are lucky enough to have a good student who manages the commitment to a team along with excellence in the classroom, then good for you.  Your decision has been made somewhat easier.  For many, the decision can get more complicated when their teen has difficulty with time management and comes home from practice too tired to do their studying or homework assignments.  Athletic eligibility in high school (and college) is contingent on minimum academic standards. Minimum is the key term here and usually is the equivalent to a “C” average. Not exactly what colleges are looking for when you apply.  You have to set your own standards based on your child’s abilities combined with your expectations.  Savvy parents know how to dangle the athletic “carrot” to achieve good academic focus.  Working as a team with teachers and coaches can create a nice triangle of accountability that provides support and a sense of caring to the student-athlete.

Second rule of thumb is balance is important.  Now I’m not just talking about balance between sports and studies, but more of a balance between sports and other areas of interest.  Developing a well rounded young adult is the goal here and identifying aptitude for the arts or music can create a nice balance between body and mind.  As baby boomers know, injuries and aches and pains from our glory years prohibit us from actively playing the sports that we love.  We slowly morph into “armchair quarterbacks” and “couch coaches”.  I have yet to hear of anyone who had to change careers due to a piano playing injury or painting paranoia.  Other non physical activities and interests are more likely to last into adulthood and the twilight years and become a gift of a lifetime.  If your teen is so involved in athletics that there is no time to explore other avenues, then it might be time to examine their choices.

Third rule of thumb is not all coaches have your child’s best interest in mind.  Most coaches are educators and will become second parents to your children.  They truly care about each player.  But I have seen coaches who are more interested in winning than providing good experiences and will do what is necessary to achieve their own goals.  I have heard stories of coaches who don’t allow their student athletes to play other sports.  They convince parents that playing another sport is dangerous or detrimental to their teen.  In many cases it involves gifted players that they fear will be injured or not dedicate themselves to an off season workout plan. They use the scholarship angle to sway parents to buy into their philosophy by promising free college tuition in the form of athletic scholarships.  For many parents the financial side of the equation is alluring, considering the cost of a college education.  My advice here is simple: look at the big picture. If you have a good student who loves to play more than one sport, let them play and enjoy the experience of different teammates and coaches.   The benefits of cross training for each sport will develop their aerobic and anaerobic endurance systems.  The additional benefits of learning from a variety of coaches and being under the daily watchful eye of a professional educator will pay dividends in the long term.  If they want to focus on one sport and playing in college, they can do that in their senior year.  It should be their decision.  College recruiters will identify your son or daughter as potential scholarship athletes by their junior year in high school.  If you aren’t getting the attention from the colleges by then, chances are that they are not interested (and you will have to rely on that 529 plan to pay).  Try not to be swayed by the pot of gold (scholarships) at the end of the rainbow (high school career).  Lastly, encourage well rounded experiences both in and out of sports.  Attend their games and teach them that if they truly did their best then they are winners in your eyes, no matter the score.

Best wishes for a healthy and prosperous new year!

Joe, a retired NYC Transit Police Officer, now co-owns Milford Pedicab.  In addition, he has spent the last 20 years coaching basketball at both the high school and college levels and is the founder of the Hoopskills Basketball Clinic  where he enjoys teaching young people about the values of sportsmanship, teamwork and the quality of effort.  Currently, Joe coaches the boy’s basketball team at Jonathan Law High School in Milford.  He is married to his beautiful wife Soledad and has 3 children, Isabela, Soledad and Joey III.